STITCH LINES...... Ramblings on life as a quilter, stitcher, traveler, photographer, gardener and lover of books, cats and fine chocolate....

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Why do bad things happen to good people?

I am so very sad today, as I have just lost a good friend. Sandy is a friend from my younger days- we taught together in the late 70's and early 80's, we lived together for a while, and we travelled together. Oh, we had some good times... We bought our first houses at the same time... we had a fabulous three weeks touring Ireland in 1982...we had so much fun taking a group of High School students on an exchange trip to Meadow Lake Saskatchewan in 1985.... I did her wedding photography...and we were pregnant at the same time... it seems like just yesterday....

Sandy was diagnosed last October with cancer...no real symptoms to speak of, other than she was tired and was losing some weight. After a sudden abdominal pain struck her at school one day, and got worse as the day went on, she went to the Doctor. Long story short- several days later she awoke from surgery to find she had lost a significant portion of her bowel and was told the cancer had already moved to her liver. I have to say, over the next few months she showed tremendous strength and determination to "give it her best shot" and fight a good fight. I admired her courage, but then again I have always admired Sandy.

She was such a beautiful person- not just physically beautiful- tall, slim with gorgeous hair, snapping brown eyes and an infectious smile.... but spiritually beautiful as well. She was a woman of great strength and faith, with strong values and an amazing knowledge of music, literature, politics, history, you name it... she knew the answer. She had a tremendous rapport with her students, especially her Band students, and not surprisingly, she had a very wide circle of friends. Everyone loved Sandy- she was just so much FUN to be with. And she could always make you laugh...

She was truly one of the most radiant brides I have ever seen... I was so very nervous to be the "official" photographer at her wedding. I had no formal training per se; it was just a serious hobby for me. But she assured me they just wanted lots of casual pics. I did get some good ones, which you see here - her bouquet was SO gorgeous- like it had just been picked from the garden. The family home was a large dairy farm outside of Kitchener Ontario. I had visited the farm a number of times and felt like I was part of the family, having called her parents Mum and Dad right from our first meeting-they are just that kind of people. I still call them Mum and Dad, and they call me their fourth daughter.... and now their hearts are breaking.... they have lost their firstborn. How do you comfort someone in that situation? There is nothing you can say to "make it better"...
This is her son Ben- he is just a few months older than my Laura. When I took this photo at the wedding, he was hot and tired and just fed up with smiling for pictures .. He is now a very tall, strong, handsome young man, still with a head full of blonde curls, a football player just finishing his first year at University. And he lost his Mum this morning. My heart aches for him...

Life just doesn't seem fair sometimes. I guess it's good that we don't know what's around the next corner. I do believe what they say- "with age comes wisdom".... I have learned over the last few years that we truly should live each day like it's our last - do the things we want to do... take the trips we wish to take... use the good china and crystal... and not put things off till tomorrow.
So- Carpe Diem - seize the day! Life is short - don't take it for granted. Don't be afraid to say "I love you".
Goodbye my beautiful Sandy... I love you.... Surely you are one of God's angels now, trying out your new wings
Peace and love,
Linda
Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle...

3 comments:

GailM. said...

I'm so sorry you lost your friend Linda. As we get older, friends are so hard to come by. Your photos are beautiful. I love the one of the little guy.

bargello said...

Life isn't fair is it? I am so sorry for you loss. It is very hard to lose friends and at too young an age. What a beautiful tribute your blog piece is. Good for you Linda, Sandy would have loved it I think. The fact that she could make you and others laugh endears her to me.
My sympathies,
Kathy F.

Marie Alton said...

Oh Linda ... My Deepest Sympathies!
I'm so sad you've lost your friend...& I so know what you're feeling right now...I've been there. Brenda was only 44 when cancer claimed her vibrant life. Amy was 20 and Christopher was 18.

Big Gentle Hugs ... Marie

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