STITCH LINES...... Ramblings on life as a quilter, stitcher, traveler, photographer, gardener and lover of books, cats and fine chocolate....

Saturday, April 27, 2013

A little chuckle for you...

I have lots of friends who send me emails with jokes, stories or other things to make me laugh (God bless 'em.. keep them coming, folks!) Sometimes they are just too good to not pass on, so today, I'm doing just that....here's your daily chuckle, thanks to my friends Jack and Sheila...


In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods....

On the bottom of McCain's Tiramisu dessert:  Do not turn upside down.  (Well, duhhh.. a bit late, don'cha think?)

On Planter's Peanuts:  Warning - Contains nuts.   (talk about a news flash!)

On Shopper's Drug children's cough medicine:  Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medicine. (We could do a lot to reduce the number of construction accidents if we could just get those five year olds with head colds off those bulldozers...)

On President's Choice Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.  (And you thought..??) 

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.  (But that's the only time I have to work on my hair...)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a Winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (Would this be the Shoplifter Special??)

On a package of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be.....?)

On Swanson frozen dinners: Serving Suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion, folks!)

On packaging for a Black and Decker iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save me a lot of time?)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness.  (And I'm taking this because...?)

On most packages of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor:  Not to be used for the other use. (Ummmm, can someone help me out here?)

On a Westjet package of nuts: Open packet, eat nuts. (Step 3 - Say what?)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Canadian Tire chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.  (OMG, was there a lot of this happening somewhere??)

That's it folks. Your chuckle for the day.  They walk among us..........

Peace and laughter....

Linda 

"A day without laughter is a day wasted."  ~ Charlie Chaplin

7 comments:

Lori E said...

Never underestimate the power of stupid. These warnings are there because...well....it happened.
Lawsuits no doubt.
As that one comedian says: here's your sign.

Lavender Cottage said...

Thank you for my morning chuckle over coffee. I read the list to hubby too, the chainsaw warning is um, ...unusual?
Judith

Lee said...

I wonder what they call the department that writes these - "Complete Idiot Instruction Area"? ...no, wait, that might make the employees....

Kathy said...

I'm off to bed to read now...so this post was my evening chuckle!

MissesStitches said...

Thanks for the laughs!

Anne Mattie said...

As Judge Judy says, Beauty fades but stupid is forever.

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

These were hilarious. Sometimes it's good to be reminded of the obvious...and funny, too! Hugs!

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